Sorry Isn’t Strong Enough
by AndyBCM
Summary: Set during Breaking Dawn, On Isle Esme when Bella discovers she is pregnant she decides to keep the baby but what if Edward got his way and forced Bella to unwillingly have an abortion. How would Bella react? Would their relationship survive?
1. Airports

_**Author's note:**_

**Hey! Sorry its been so long since I've written anything. I finished school now so I have lots of free time. However I am suffering from slight writers block at the moment and that's why I decided to start a new story to get me back into the swing of things.**

**Anyway this story will be rated M but the main reason is because I'm paranoid. Also the sequel to this story will **_**have**_** to be rated M anyway. So I decided to do the story justice and not hold back.**

**This first chapter is a little short but they will get much longer I promise.**

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all- including any direct quotes used. No copyright infringement intended.**

**This is set during **_**Breaking Dawn **_**and everything is the same as in the books up until this point.**

**Oh and any Team Edward members, please don't give me any flames. I love Edward too and remember that this is just a story from a silly Irish girl. **_(Raven-Rach [BN]: Yay, more stories from Áine!! Whoo hoo! Ok, better go proof-read- seriously, best job ever lol, I get to read everything first! Enjoy people, don't forget to review, we all know Áine deserves it =P )_

**___________________________________________________**

**Sorry Isn't Strong Enough**

**Chapter One**

Bella's POV

The past weeks on Isle Esme were indescribable, but I never thought that we would be heading home like this.

Edward and I were already a couple of hours into our flight back home from Rio de Janeiro. Edward had been silent the entire flight so far. He just continuously stared out the window of the plane. I wanted to talk to him but he didn't really respond and not to mention my own emotions have gone haywire.

It has only been hours since I found out I was pregnant, but I already know that in my heart and soul this is want I want. I want this child… _Our_ child. I want to raise him… Or even her. See their first steps, the way their face would light up on Christmas morning or even being there on their wedding day. I want it all. No, I _need_ it all. Edward, on the other hand, I'm not so sure.

When we discovered I was pregnant I never wanted to read Edward's mind more in my entire life. I finally understood why Edward gets so frustrated because of the fact he's unable to hear my thoughts. That moment when Edward froze in shock I would have given anything to hear what he was thinking.

I remember his words exactly. The moment he said them it was like my heart broke.

"_We're going to get that thing out before it can hurt any part of you. Don't be scared. I _won't_ let it hurt you."_

His words keep on repeating over and over in my head. I can't believe that he doesn't want this child. His child. If anything I thought Edward would have wanted the traditional family, white picket fence the lot but no, he wants our child _aborted_…

I first thought it was because he didn't want the child but I've come to realise that that's not the problem at all. He's afraid that the baby will hurt me. He mumbled something about our bodies not being compatible. I can understand that, the baby is half vampire after all but what I couldn't understand was how Edward could pick my life over _our_ unborn child's.

If something did happen to me he could change me before it's too late. I don't know why he is so worried though. Other than the few pregnancy symptoms, so far I feel fine. Maybe this wouldn't be as hard as he thinks. I do understand that he just doesn't want me to get hurt or even to lose me, and I can't be mad at him for that.

As soon as I realised he wasn't exactly happy about this I called Rosalie. Though she was just as surprised that I rang her as I was. I knew she would support me and she is doing just that. I knew about her maternal side and she said she would meet me at the airport. Maybe even Esme could help me. I would give everything and anything for it to be Edward by my side though.

I noticed a few fresh tears spill down my face. I rubbed them away quickly. I hoped Edward didn't notice. My attention was back on him. He was still staring out that window, his expression unchanging. It looked pained. It broke my heart all over again to see him this way. At least he didn't seem angry anymore.

I slowly moved my hand over to his where it was lying flat on the his arm rest. I placed the palm of my hand on top of the back of his. Edward turned his hand and encircled his fingers around mine.

It was the first form of affection we had shown each other in a while, it was our first form of contact even. I don't know if Edward realised it but holding my hand symbolised a spark of hope. Well it did for me anyway.

I looked to his face once more. His expression had become emotionless. For the first time since we boarded the plane his attention left the window and he faced me. He turned his entire body in my direction, sitting at the edge of his first class seat. He was about to say something but he stopped himself. It was also the first time we gave each other eye contact since the island.

His eyes seemed dead, filled with guilt even. Of course he would blame himself for this _problem_. Though in my eyes it's not much of a problem but more of a miracle.

He reached over and gently picked up my other hand that was placed on my stomach. He cupped his face with my hand, placing his hand on top of mine. He closed his eyes and sighed. He stayed in this position for a number of minutes before he began fidgeting with my wedding rings and then he eventually dropped my hand. My left hand returned comfortably to my stomach.

He opened his eyes and sat back into his seat. I leaned across and rested my heavy head on his shoulder. There was no point denying it, I was so tired. I succumbed to my tiredness and I began to drift off. I felt Edward wrap one of his arms around me as my eyelids began to droop. Though with everything that was going on, being in Edward's arms was the only place I wanted to be right now.

***************************************************

I found myself waking up with Edward gently nudging me. It was just before we were about to land. I slept for most of the flight. I noticed mine and Edward's hands were still interlocked on top of the arm rest. Our position hadn't changed since I had fallen asleep.

I pulled away from Edward as the plane began its descent and Edward's arms dropped to his sides, letting go of my hand in the process.

I felt stiff. The flight lasted for hours and unlike when we travelled to Rio de Janeiro this flight was directly to Seattle. It would be good to get up and stretch my legs.

The plane routinely landed and we removed our seatbelts. I stood up and opened the overhead compartment to pull out our carry on luggage but Edward insisted on carrying everything himself.

Normally an interaction as simple as that wouldn't really register any importance in my mind but this was the first time we spoke to each other the entire flight.

He took my hand in his as we left the plane. His mood seemed to have lifted. As we left the plane he even politely thanked one of the airhostesses. Maybe there really is some hope after all.

As we went through security and had our passports checked he never let go of my hand. Even though the silence returned it wasn't awkward. However, I still was dying for one of us to break it.

As we waited for our luggage Edward raised my hand up to his lips and carefully kissed it. I smiled to him and he forced a grin back. I could tell he was trying to look more cheerful than he really was. He lowered our hands and I began caressing his fingers with my thumb as we stood watching the countless bags go by. Though they may be small, these displays of affection meant a hell of a lot more than they did yesterday.

I decided to take a chance and say something. I took a deep breath and squeezed his hand.

"Are you okay? You've been awfully quiet," I asked, probably too cautiously. The anxiety most likely leaked into the sound of my voice. He raised his eyebrows.

"Humm? Sorry… I was just thinking a lot I guess," he mumbled his attention focused on the bags passing by on the conveyor belt. He sighed before squeezing my hand back.

"I don't really know what to think. I'm just confused I suppose," he said quietly before he paused.

"I'm frustrated. I've never wanted to hear inside your mind more than ever before," he confessed.

The dreaded silence returned but as our first bag arrived Edward broke it repeating my question.

"Are _you_ okay?" he asked reflecting my caution. "You've been awfully quite too."

"I know and I'm sorry. I'm just overwhelmed by this entire situation. I really just want to go home," I replied. I half smiled but this time he didn't return the gesture.

We eventually got all our baggage and Edward easily pushed our trolley towards the exit, still gripping my hand. I kept my eyes scanning the crowed to find Rosalie or any of the other Cullens. I suddenly saw a beautiful blonde run at human speed towards us.

I dropped Edward's hand and I pulled Rosalie into a hug. I could feel tears begin to build up in my eyes.

"Oh, Bella…" she sighed. I saw Edward walk over to Emmett and Carlisle.

Rosalie placed her hand on my stomach and half smiled to me sympathetically.

"Don't worry. We'll get through this," she said as she patted my stomach. I nodded, trying to rub away any tears that had formed.

I saw Edward walk towards us as I pulled away from Rosalie. She growled at him as he took my hand in his once more and began leading me to the others. He just frowned not giving her any response. We walked over to the others and I greeted them.

Edward's silence returned as we headed for the car. Carlisle led the way as Emmett took our luggage. We walked through the car park, not one person saying a word. We made it to Carlisle's Mercedes and Emmett stuffed our luggage into the boot.

I slid into the backseat. Edward one side of me Rosalie the other. Edward never let go of my hand. Emmett sat up front with Carlisle who was driving.

There was an awkward silent atmosphere between us in the car as we pulled away from the car park. No one knew what to say I assumed. Edward's attention was mainly on me other than the odd glower at Emmett. Whatever he was thinking Edward didn't like it. Other than that and a few winces Edward gave to what I assumed to be Rosalie's and Carlisle's thoughts the silence remained.

Emmett grinned at Edward and he growled at him. Whoever thought it would be a good idea to send Emmett to pick us up was beyond me.

This was going to be one long car journey home.


	2. Examinations

**_Author's note:_**

**Before I begin I just want to say that I'm not a doctor nor have I ever been pregnant so I'm sorry if any medical facts/procedures/terms etc. are wrong.**

**I'm just using what I know from Leaving Cert. science and what I've seen on TV and in books :)**

_[BN: Aine decided not to warn me about the medical details in the chapter, as a person with trypanophobia… Yes, I did scream half way through! Still love her though! Great chapter Aine, despite my screaming! =P Hope everyone enjoys it- but I have no doubt that you will!]_

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**Chapter 2**

Bella's POV

As we drove through the Washington state countryside the weather was dreary and wet. Just like I remember it but I already missed the contrasting, beautiful weather of Isle Esme.

The journey back to Forks dragged. It was mostly full of awkward silences, though it did contain a few small ounces of small talk. However anything that was said seemed liked it was prepared and thought through beforehand. They asked Edward and I things like what the weather was like on the island, how were our flights, mundane things like that. Everything else seemed taboo.

As we reached the outskirts of Forks the feeling of relief and familiarity returned. A police car drove past us. At first I thought it could be Charlie but as it got closer I knew it wasn't him.

Charlie… He's someone I have to deal with yet. Am I even going to tell him that I'm pregnant? That he'll be a grandfather. To be completely honest I don't know if or when he'll find out. He doesn't even know we're back in America yet! Time will tell I suppose. Maybe I should wait until Carlisle's done all the tests he wants to do on me. Maybe Edward might even what to have a say in who we tell.

I yawned as we drove through the streets of Forks. Even though I slept through a lot of the plane journey I was still so tired. I knew tiredness was a symptom of pregnancy but I've met pregnant woman before and they have never seemed this tired. I'm also starving but I could easily deal with that when we got home.

We finally reached the mansion. Alice, Esme and Jasper were all stood on the porch waiting for us I assumed. As soon as I stepped out of the car Alice had me pulled into a hug but I could tell that there was something off about her. She wasn't her normal self. As Alice pulled away from me she glanced at Edward and they gave each other eye contact for a few seconds. I was used to these private conversations at this stage.

I greeted Esme and Jasper before Edward began to lead me into the house. Emmett and Jasper both helped with bringing our luggage in.

As we made it inside everyone dispersed into the various rooms of the house leaving just Edward, Carlisle, Rosalie and I in the hallway. I realised then Rosalie wasn't about to leave my side anytime soon and I was grateful for that. Edward and Carlisle stared at each other for a number of moments before Edward nodded his head and turned to me.

"If its alright with you Carlisle thinks it might be best if we went up to his office to talk but since we just got home if you're not up to it, it can wait," he explained.

"No. I'm fine," I replied simply. Edward frowned but he squeezed my hand as he led me upstairs. As we entered the office I noticed that it hadn't changed much since the last time I was in here which seemed like a life time ago.

Carlisle quickly walked to his desk trying to make sense of his organised mess. He pushed a bundle of paperwork out of the way. He sat in his large, old, comfortable looking seat and signalled for me to take the seat on the other side of his desk.

Rosalie hovered just inside the door as Edward dragged another seat beside mine. He sat down, once again interweaving our fingers together. Carlisle sighed and looked to Rosalie, his expression serious.

"Rose, I'm sorry but if you don't mind I think it might be more suitable if I talk to Bella and Edward in private for a while," he requested.

"No! I'm not going anywhere!" she demanded. She seemed genuinely angered by his request. She looked to me obviously waiting for me to say something to convince him to let her stay.

"Maybe its for the best Rosalie. I'm sure our talk won't last long," I sighed. It took her a second to comprehend that I agreed with Carlisle.

"If it's not too much trouble maybe you could get me something to eat? I'm starving!" I asked. Hopefully that would give her something to do and get her mind off the fact that I have just basically told her to get out. Also I was truthfully craving something to eat. She nodded and reluctantly turned to head out the door.

"Rose!" I called quickly. She turned fast, surprised yet all her attention was on me.

"Thank you…" I stated simply. She half smiled a sympathetic smile a repeat of the one she gave me in the airport. She turned her head to Edward and he expression became stern. She glared at him. He tried to ignore her by turning to face the wall but the pain quickly re-engulfed his face. Rosalie quietly closed the door behind her and I could hear her begin to descend the stairs.

My attention then focused on Carlisle. What was he going to say to us and in turn what were we going to tell him. I might not be Alice but I could definitely see some aspects of the conversation we were about to have as very awkward. Carlisle was practically Edward's father and my father in-law for all intents and purposes after all.

"So," he began, his attention on me. "Bella. How are you feeling?"

"Like I said. Really, I'm fine," I replied. He glanced at Edward who seemed to be staying silent. Carlisle's expression was staying emotionless. It was as if he was only speaking to us as our doctor and nothing else.

"What I meant was how are you _really_ felling, like what symptoms have occurred so far?" he inquired rephrasing his question. One thing I had noticed since we arrived back in America no one said any words like pregnancy or baby. It was as if it was forbidden.

"Oh. Well I've had nausea, tiredness, cravings and my emotions seem to be all over the place. Also my period is late. There all pregnancy symptoms aren't they?" I asked. He nodded in response. I looked to Edward. His hands never left mine but he was staring absent-mindedly into space just like when we were on the plane returning home.

"Okay, well by the way you look and by what you're telling me I'd agree that you are most definitely antenatal but did you take any home tests?" he questioned.

"No, but it seems kind of obvious. I already have a bump and everything. It even seems to have gotten bigger since I first noticed it, just hours ago," I explained.

"Hmm, fascinating. Do you have any idea when it was conceived?" he asked quickly and he got up and headed in my direction.

"We think August 13th. Maybe the night after the wedding," I answered. My cheeks immediately became crimson and I could tell Carlisle felt my embarrassment mixed with his own. He changed the subject quickly.

"I took a trip to the hospital before you arrived home. With my connections I was able to bring some equipment here. I will have to treat and test you here instead of the hospital for a number of obvious reasons but mainly because it might blow our cover. I should be able to get everything we need so don't worry. Would you be able to lie on the examination table for me please? I would like to run some tests, if you don't mind?" he asked while pointing towards the end of the room. I nodded in agreement as I could still feel the embarrassed heat on my cheeks.

Edward released my hands from his grip and I took off my coat, leaving it behind me on my seat. I walked over to the examination table and as I pulled myself onto it I surprisingly found it slightly comfortable. I still felt uneasy though because even if it was Carlisle I wasn't too fond of doctors.

"Can you raise your top for me slightly," he requested. I complied. While using a stethoscope and his fingers he examined my stomach. I almost flinched at his cold touch. He then used a thin measuring tape to measure the size of my baby bump.

"By your size I can estimate that you are about 2 months along. Amazingly if you have the date of conception correct you are growing extremely rapidly. Are you one hundred percent sure that it's-," he began before he was interrupted.

"Of course _it _is! How dare you even think that!" Edward yelled, leaping from his seat and coming to my side, gripping my left hand perhaps with a bit too much force. He seemed genuinely offended by whatever Carlisle was about to ask.

"Look Edward, I'm sorry. It was it was just a thought. I didn't mean," he tried to apologise. He was obviously stunned by Edward's reaction. As was I.

"I know what you meant! Bella would never, not to me, not to us!" he retorted angrily.

"Edward, please. I know you're upset right now but you have to at least try to listen to me for a second," Carlisle scolded. Edward groaned and took his eyes off Carlisle, brushing some hair from my face.

"What I was trying to say was that it would make a lot of sense. It would explain everything. I didn't mean to offend you or Bella. Like I said it was just a thought, an option we had to work through. I apologise for even bringing the idea up. It's just up until the moment I heard about Bella I had always believed that this was impossible for us," Carlisle explained.

I was quite confused. I was missing a vital part of the conversation. That part being whatever enraged Edward. Thanks to Edward's mind reading abilities he knows exactly what Carlisle was thinking but I guess I'll have to wait until Edward calms down a little for me to find out what.

"Carlisle, you know as well as I do that just because something sounds impossible doesn't mean it can't happen . We're walking proof of that," Edward responded calming down considerably. Carlisle sighed.

"Look, I'll try some more tests and then we'll see what's what. First I'm going to give Bella a physical," he said seriously. His attention reverting back to me.

I nodded as Carlisle walked over to his desk and picked up a number of pieces of equipment. He carried out a number of tests including taking my weight, heart rate, a urine sample and then my blood pressure.

"Oh dear Bella, your blood pressure is extremely high. Even if you weren't pregnant the level you are at would be very dangerous," Carlisle stated. Edward groaned and placed his head in his hands.

"Will this effect the baby," I asked quickly. It was the first thought that popped into my head.

"Yes, potentially it can cause premature childbirth and can cause very serious complications such as the placenta detaching from the uterus," he explained. "But _your_ heath is what's important right now."

I frowned as I pulled myself back up onto the examination table. Carlisle recorded my results as Edward pulled a chair next to me and sat down.

"Okay, Bella," Carlisle said softly. "I'm going to have to give you a blood test as well. It's the most reliable test also I'll be able to find anything else that may be abnormal. It could potentially tell us an awful lot about you and your health."

"Edward, if you want to leave while he takes the sample I'll understand. I don't want to make it uncomfortable for you," I suggested.

"No. I'm not going anywhere." he stated as he gave me complete eye contact.

"It won't last for long. It's completely routine, I do it nearly every day to my patients. Don't worry about it," Carlisle reassured. He pulled over a tray of equipment but abruptly he groaned.

"Ugh… I forgot the antiseptic wipes in my car. I'll be back in a minute," he said as he quickly left the room, leaving Edward and I by ourselves.

"Edward? I asked shyly.

"Yes… Love?" he murmured.

"What were you and Carlisle talking about when… Well… You got angry with him," I inquired with genuine interest. He took a deep, unnecessary breath.

"He insinuated that maybe _it_ wasn't mine," he responded grimly.

"Oh Edward! Of course the baby's yours! I would never cheat on you! I can't believe-" I exclaimed before Edward interrupted me putting his finger on my lips.

"Shush… I know… I know… Carlisle was just thinking as a doctor and not like my father. He regrets even thinking it," he explained with an edge to his voice.

I was surprised that Edward had reacted the way he did. He seemed to be sending me mixed signals. Mostly he was against the idea of me carrying his child but sometimes he would show the odd blip in his armour. Then again, his reaction could have been purely to do with the fact he was just genuinely offended by Carlisle's thoughts. Maybe I'm just reading too much into things, trying to latch onto any sense of hope.

Carlisle quickly returned and mine and Edward's conversation was suddenly dropped. Carlisle walked over to me and prepared a section of my arm for taking the sample, pulling my skin tight. I looked away and forced my eyes to shut tight. I squeezed Edward's hand as hard as I could. Though I know it was impossible for me to hurt him he noticed my nerves and gently squeezed my hand back. There was nothing I hated more than needles. I felt a pinch and I whimpered slightly.

"There, it's over," Edward said while exhaling. He was holding his breath. I immediately felt guilty. He released his pressure on my hand and I looked to where Carlisle took the blood sample. A small bandage was left behind.

"Alright," Carlisle said as he began backing away his equipment.

"I think we have done enough tests for now and as I'm sure you're tired after your flight, rest is the best thing I can prescribe to you right now. Also I smell some food being cooked for you. I still have to give you an ultrasound but I couldn't get hold of a machine in such short notice but I will have one for tomorrow morning. I will process and get any results I have so far back to both of you later okay?" Carlisle asked.

I nodded. Carlisle glanced at Edward. It was as if Edward refused to give him any form of eye contact or awareness.

"Before you both go I want to talk to you both about your options," Carlisle began, suddenly becoming very cautious.

"To put it bluntly, I honestly have no idea what's growing inside you, Bella, and I cannot predict how this will turn out. Due to the apparent rapid growth I can't even say how long the pregnancy could possibly last. I've never witnessed anything like this before and I don't know if the foetus will be more vampire or human. Bella, what I'm trying to say is that I don't know how this will exactly affect _you_. I can't tell if it's even possible for you to continue to carry the foetus and survive. I just want you to be aware of your options. At this moment abortion is something that should be taken into consideration because-" he continued before I interrupted him.

"No!" I yelled and I pushed myself off of the examination table. Suddenly my vision blurred for a second and I became light headed, dizzy even. I stumbled and Edward pulled me back up into a seated position onto the examination table.

"No! _That's_ not even an option! No way!" I yelled as I fumbled in Edward's grip.

"Bella, I'm sorry but it's just a suggestion, a consideration. Though I would never normally condone such a thing in the long run for your health it might be more beneficial to terminate the pregnancy. I want you and Edward to at least try and discuss what you plan to do. In search of a better term _'sleep on it' _and don't make any decisions until we have the ultrasound images and I have the results from the tests I've carried out," Carlisle explained.

"Okay," I said glumly. I would never agree to an abortion and they both knew it, but Carlisle was right about one thing: Edward and I do need to discuss things.

I was so hungry and even with my weak human senses I could now smell the food being prepared for me. I got up though this time at a slow pace. I wasn't light headed but the dizziness hadn't faded completely.

"Thank you Carlisle, for everything you've done. I… We really appreciate all your help," I thanked as Carlisle smiled sympathetically in response. It was a carbon copy of the smile Rosalie gave me gave me earlier.

I pulled on Edward's arm signalling for him to follow me. He thanked Carlisle before he followed me out of the office. He grew quiet again as we headed down the stairs and into the kitchen.

As we reached the kitchen, Esme and Rosalie were dishing out something for me to eat. I sat at the counter, Edward sitting in the stool beside me. I thanked them gratefully before they started asking about our honeymoon and Carlisle's examination. I could tell they were being careful with what they said. Edward remained relatively silent.

I was about three bites into my chicken when suddenly a fresh wave of nausea hit me. I ran quickly towards the kitchen sink without tripping. Thankfully the sink was empty. I could feel the blush creep up my checks and my eyes were beginning to water as I griped the edge of the counter. I felt a cold hand begin to rub soothing circles into my back and pull my hair behind my face.

I was surprised to realise that it wasn't the cold hands I was normally used to. I glanced up to see her perfect, long, golden hair. It was Rosalie.

I stretched my arm forward and turned on the tap, washing away my mess.

"Sorry," I mumbled embarrassed. My blush was now my most predominate feature.

"It's okay Bella, really," Rosalie smiled as she stepped away from me. I looked Edward who was still sat in his stool. His head was bowed, his eyes closed. He was pinching the bridge of his nose, frowning. I then looked to my half eaten food. Suddenly I wasn't so hungry anymore. I grimaced.

"I think I might just go sit down and relax, watch some TV. I don't really feel up to finishing my dinner or doing much else," I confessed. Esme nodded and began clearing up the kitchen after giving me a quick hug.

I stepped towards Edward and placed my left hand on his shoulder. He sighed as he looked up to me through his seemingly pained eye lashes. I grinned but he didn't return the gesture. He got up and followed me into the sitting room. I walked in to find Emmett sprawled across an armchair flicking through the TV channels.

I sat on the empty couch and Edward practically moulded himself around me putting one arm over my shoulders. I rested my head against his chest. It was the first time I felt truly peaceful and comfortable since I slept in Edward's arms during the long flight home.

Emmett finally gave up trying to find something decent on the TV and put on a DVD. It was a light-hearted comedy. Though I had seen it before at least it would help me get my mind off things. Rosalie and Esme joined us. Rosalie sat on the floor beside Emmett while Esme sat on the only vacant armchair.

Suddenly I realised which members of the family were missing. I knew Carlisle was in his office working on my test results but where were Alice and Jasper? I did notice that they both seemed very distant when we arrived home. I wasn't exactly surprised at Jasper's behaviour but Alice was one of my best friends. Then again, like with Edward, maybe I'm just reading too much into things.

"Where are Jasper and Alice gone?" I asked everyone who was sat watching the film.

"They're gone hunting. Jasper felt a little overwhelmed by the rush of emotions today, also Alice was thirsty, so they thought it would be best to take a breather and go hunting. They're not gone far. They'll be back soon," Emmett explained.

The silence returned as everyone's eyes where glued to the television. My eyelids on the other hand began to grow very heavy and once again I drifted off to sleep.

***************************************************

"Ugh… Five more minutes" I groaned.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you," Edward chuckled. I forced open my eyes weakly to find Edward gently untying and pulling off my Converse. It was the first time he laughed since we were on the Island. I missed his exquisite laugh. My eyes began to focus slightly as I registered my surroundings. It was dark. The lights weren't on. The only reason I could see was because of the light seeping thought the slightly open doorway. We were in Edward's room, well I guess you could call it ours now. I was comfortably lying on the bed. Edward must have carried me up here. I can't even remember the film finishing.

"What time is it?" I mumbled.

"It's just after 11pm," he answered, tucking the blanket around me. I moaned as I snuggled my head into my pillow. All I wanted to do was sleep.

Edward brushed my hair out of my face and placed a soft kiss on my temple. He moved away from me and I could hear the faint thud of his runners as they hit the floor.

I was just about to completely drift off when suddenly I heard I creaking at the door. I was too tired to turn and see who it was. Edward could deal with whoever it was.

"Sorry Edward, but is it alright if I talk to you for a second?" a male voice asked. My brain was tired but it eventually registered that it was Carlisle.

I could feel Edward's weight lift from the bed as I tried to fall back asleep. As I slipped in and out of my sleepy state I could hear whispering. It began to get annoying so I turned around, forcing my eyes open once more.

There was no one else in the room with me but the door was left ajar. I could see two shadows. I assumed them to be Carlisle's and Edward's.

"Look, Bella's tired. She's had a really long day. Maybe we should just wait and talk about this in the morning," Edward whispered.

"I know, but Edward I don't know what state Bella will be in in the morning. I'm sure you've noticed. She's noticeably gotten worse and she's only been home for a few hours," Carlisle replied.

"I know…" Edward said glumly.

"Her urine and blood samples show that she's not absorbing any of her necessary nutrients. She has especially dangerously low levels of iron. She's deteriorating by the minute," Carlisle explained.

"And it's the _thing_ that is doing this to her, isn't it?" Edward asked.

"Yes unfortunately, most definitely. I know she's not keeping down her food so if it gets worse we'll have to try and help her intravenously. Though I don't know if that will work either," Carlisle responded.

"Isn't there anything else you can do? _Anything?_"

"Edward, you know enough about medicine to realise that terminating the pregnancy is our best option. But we both know Bella will never agree to it," Carlisle replied.

"Ugh…" Edward sighed.

"Please, I want you both to really discuss this. As I said, you know where I stand when it comes to abortion, but Bella's like a daughter to me and I can't bear the thought of… Look, talk to her, mention adoption, surrogacy or IVF and don't make any decisions until we have an ultrasound image," Carlisle stated.

"What would you do?" Edward murmured.

"As a doctor I'd say an emergency abortion is the best way forward but as your father I'd say… Well, I don't really know what to be honest. If it was Esme in this situation I don't know what I'd personally choose. I just want you to know that no matter what you do choose I won't judge you."

"I know and thank you, it's just Bella is so stubborn. She knows what she wants," Edward paused. "But that's one of the reasons why I love her so much."

Edward sighed. "I just can't understand why she would sacrifice her life for that _thing_. It's not a child. It's a _monster…_"


	3. Falling

_**Authors Note:**_

**Sorry about the lack of updates recently but with everything that's going on in my life right now I just have no time anymore to do anything I want. Lol I'll try to reply to all my reviews and PMs as soon as I can.**

**Don't worry I'****m NOT giving up on any of my FanFictions and will try and update them as soon as possible.**

**OMFG I HEART NEW MOON THE FILM. IT'S AMAZING! FANGIRL SCREAM! (My only criticism i****s how they killed Harry. Other Team Leah members (like me) will understand what I mean)**

**Sorry****about the shortness of this chapter but I'm sure the ones coming next will be much longer because that's when the story really picks up and gets to why I'm actually writing this fic. I love a bit of melodrama lol**

**I want to ****apologize for any medical mistakes in this story because 1) I'm not a doctor and 2) I've never been pregnant so please bear with me :)**

* * *

**Chapter 3**

Bella's POV

I was speechless. Did he really think _our_ unborn child was a _monster_? I didn't know weather to be angry or upset or both! I was just stunned, completely and utterly stunned. Speechless even, unable to muster up any coherent thoughts.

Light briefly engulfed the room as Edward quietly re-entered. I could tell he was being cautiously quite for my benefit. He closed the door after him and he headed straight for our bed, tiptoeing in his perfectly white cotton socks.

The battle against me eyelids was beginning to get unbearable and I knew I would lose the war any second. Edward lay gently on the bed beside me tucking both him and the blankets around me. I felt like I was wrapped up like a delicate ornament so I wouldn't break, a porcelain doll covered in layers of blankets. I knew Edward just wants what's best for me but I felt his overprotective nature for me was beginning to cross a line.

I thought Edward would be the one who would want a family, three kids, a dog and cat, people carrier, white picket fence the lot, but no. He didn't want this baby. _Our_ baby. I realized quickly that I would need Rosalie's help more then I first thought. Hopefully Esme wouldn't mind throwing in a helpful hand either. Though I'm closest to Alice when I saw that the look on her face was the exact same as Edward's, I knew I had lost her to the other side. Edward's arms squeezed tighter around me and he kissed my forehead carefully.

"I love you…," he whispered in my ear as he often did to lull me to sleep. This was the lullaby I preferred to the actual composed melody that would often grace Edward's grand piano but now it felt more like a bullet in an agonizingly slow motion ripping my insides as it drilled into the imaginary burning pain in my chest, my heart, tearing me to shreds.

"I know. I do too and I really do," I murmured in response, burying my head into his chest. I closed my eyes and tried to sleep but as I pressed my face to Edward I had my eyes unnaturally and uncomfortably squeezed shut. I wasn't going to sleep anytime soon even if I did feel painfully exhausted. Suddenly I couldn't help the tears that were beginning to spill over. Unfortunately Edward noticed.

"Bella?! Are you okay? Did I hurt you? Are you in pain?" he questioned panicked. I tried to reply but all that escaped my lips was a soft sob as if I was finally releasing my built up emotions. We were no longer wrapped around each other. Edward was sitting up while leaning over me and glancing down. I laid flat on my back as his hands fumbled around me trying clam me as he searched for an answer to my sudden outburst.

"What's wrong? Do you want me to get Carlisle? Is _it_ hurting you?" he continued. His expression mixed with his own pain and worry.

"No, I'm fine! It's just…," I cried pushing and kicking some of the suffocating blankets and Edward off of me.

"Please tell me Bella, what's wrong?" he begged. I looked to his eyes, they were wide. If he could he probably would have been crying along with me.

"I'm sorry, it's just I can't… I can't breath!" I sighed exasperated. I instantly regretted what I said. Edward took it completely the wrong way.

"Carlisle!" he screamed panicked. What I meant was that I needed space from him for a second not that I couldn't actually physically breathe. Almost as soon as he called his name Carlisle burst in the through the door looking nearly as panicked as Edward.

"What's going on?! Is everything okay?" he questioned concerned, looking more like a worried father then a professional doctor.

"It's Bella! I think she's… Well I don't… know."

"For Gods sake I'm fine! I just need some fresh air," I yelled as I pushed myself passed Edward. Carlisle stretched out his hand to help me up off the bed but I avoided the gesture. I stormed over to Edward's closet. I knew no clothes of mine would be in there but I also knew that at night Forks was freezing. I grabbed Edwards's gray coat. I knew I would be swimming in it but it would do its job. I could feel their eyes on me and I glanced at them quickly. It was agonizingly obvious that they were having one of their infamous silent conversations, no doubt it was about me. I pulled Edwards coat on, the soft material feeling great against my bare arms. I went to button it up and noticed that his coat was a lot more tight fitting then normal. I quickly realized that my baby bump had gotten even bigger if that was even possible over this short period of time. I felt Edwards hand on my shoulder.

"Bella love… What are you doing?" the concerned tone of his voice almost sounded disapproving.

"I'm going outside. Don't follow me. I want a minute alone, time to think."

Edward sighed as I headed towards the door.

"Don't. It's cold and wet and did I mention its midnight. Come back to bed," he begged tugging lightly on my arm.

"He's right Bella," Carlisle agreed. "You're in no condition to-"

"_I'm _in no condition to! I'm pregnant not a bloody invalid!" I screamed as I slammed the door behind me.

I had a head rush. This was my second one since Carlisle's Office. Maybe I shouldn't have stormed out of bed so quickly. I got to the top of the stairs. I had to grab the banisters as my head began to spin. White blotches drenched my eyesight. I herd Alice shouting but I couldn't make out what she was screaming. Then I heard Edward yelling followed by Carlisle simultaneously as I felt an excruciating pain in my stomach. My brain automatically focused on Edward. He sounded angry and I could have been imagining it but it sounded like he was sobbing aswell. I felt like I was winded and now I really couldn't breath.

I began to panic as I reached down as if to support my throbbing stomach. My hands were shaking. I felt something wet and warm. My vision blurred for two reasons: one I couldn't explain and the other because of the tears gushing down my face. I finally registered what was on my hand and my heart stopped. It was blood. Everything went white as it felt like I was falling forward. Suddenly everything was black.


	4. Author's Note

_**Authors Note:**_

Where to begin????

1. Don't hit me…

2. I'm sorry, but I know that's not good enough.

And 3. Please, please, PLEASE don't hit me, my pale Irish skin bruises really easily :(

I finish college on the 7th of May and that's when I'll begin my writing again. I plan to spend the summer writing not only FanFiction for fun but my own personal stuff as I am really keen on following my aspirations on becoming a professional writer.

Anyway I want to sincerely apologise for my lack of updates. As a first year Film, Literature and Drama student my life has just been insanely busy. From acting in plays, to fundraising, to studying and assignments I have had no time to sleep.

I once again want to apologise but do not worry I'm not giving up fan fiction. No offence to my readers (I love ye all!) but I'm not writing these stories for ye. These are my indulgent nonsense and I need to write these to express myself. Though it isn't as emotional/personal as my poetry or original novels/screenplays and I don't put as much effort into fan fic as my other work (as I believe the less detail in fan fic the better as these stories are for fans and fans have their own idea on what said fandom should be like) they still mean as much to me as if they were my own babies.

I like to think this time of no updating as been good for me and my stories as every day I'm becoming a better writer, gaining experiences and thinking up new story's and ideas. Like today in fact I came up with the idea of a whole new original novel! So I hope my stories will improve with age.

Also since it has taken me so long to actually update my Doctor Who stories they are very out of date but I can confirm that as of right now for _"Old Enemies, Old Friends"_ it will stay David Tennant and for the third instalment of the trilogy it will be Matt Smith (following the Doc giving up his life for Wilf. As in in-between the two fics he will regenerate. Though I'd like to write the regeneration – I even had this idea that the Doctor would get bitten- but I'd like to keep to the Doctor who canon) and perhaps even Amy as I like her (still in shock that she's basically a stripper lol take that best temp in Chiswick!)

Anyway the first story I will update will be _"The Secrets Out"_ as it has the most demand (while on the topic of this story on Sunday 28th of March I actually wrote the next chapter to have it posted as a treat to celebrate Easter and the arrival of Matt Smith and Karen Gillan. Long story short my baby brother tripped over my lap top causing 280 euros worth of damage including deleting every last inch of my hard drive luckily though I have an external hard drive so I didn't actually lose much. Just _"The Secrets Out"_ chapter as I hadn't it saved to my external hard drive yet and all my music that the artist name begins with all the letters of the alphabet after P oddly enough lol. (I blame Placebo lol)

Anyway I know I have no excuse so I'm really, really sorry and will update as soon as I can :)


	5. Very Important Announcement

_**Author's note:**_

Dear Fan Fiction, my friends, my fans and my loyal readers and reviewers,

I want to thank you for everything over the past few years and the great support and everything and because of that I think its time that I announce something.

Before you crap yourselves no I'M NOT GIVING UP FAN FICTION lol

I'm sure many of you were thinking that. In fact I'm hoping the next chapter of "The Secrets Out" will be ready to post tomorrow. And yes I'm angry at Bella for dropping her phone too.

Anyway back to the seriousness of this post.

Some of you might think I'm being over the top and overly dramatic about this announcement but I believe ye all have a right to know. So using the good old ripping the band aid off technique I'm just going to come out and say it...

I'm Transgender and Pansexual.

There I'm out loud and proud :) no more proverbial closet for me.

I'm telling you this for may reasons:

1. Though I don't necessary want to use it as an excuse the gender disphora and general depression I suffer from is one of the reasons I don't update as much any more.

2. I'm changing my username to my new male name. My new name is Andrew but I'm going by Andy for short and is what I use more. Also I would appreciate if you call me Andy from now on.

3. I'm changing my pronouns to he, his, him etc. so I would really appreciate if you use those, as well I am male.

4. This coming out is an integral part of my transition from female to male.

5. It is who I am and I'm proud and I don't want to hide who I am or how I feel anymore.

So thanks for reading my little ramble and I hope this doesn't change your opinion of me and I hope some of you won't stop reading my work because of this. Though I probably won't get as much hate mail as I did for killing off Alice lol

If you want to ask me any questions by review, pm, email or whatever go a head. I'm very open.

Once again thanks for listing and thanks for everything.

P.s. I love you all :)


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